02 Dec I woke up in the night with a vulnerability hangover

I thought to myself, “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to put myself out there and have little response to what I’m offering and make a fool of myself.”

Before I even made my bed that morning with my husband, I said, “I’m going to throw in the towel. This is too hard.”

And I heard the voice of my coach in the back of my mind come up. 

She said, “The first season of this will be a stretch and you’re not going to like it.” She went on to say I needed to remind myself, “It’s the stretch that’s uncomfortable. Don’t take this as a message to stop doing what you’re doing.”

I started my day as I always do with yoga, my mind reeling that I was hosting an invite-only event for women leaders and how foolish I’d feel to have the space half-filled when I’d optimistically, or naively, or perhaps even foolishly felt I’d have no issue gathering fewer than 20 women together.

I didn’t want to do yoga. Thankfully, it’s become such an ingrained habit that I knew I would feel like I was skipping brushing my teeth if I missed it.

My mind churned with concerns about putting myself out there to put on this event and my retreat, which was less than half full, and someone had just asked for a refund the day before. UGH-It felt so hard.

I wanted to turtle. Tuck my head back into my shell.

I tried to be as present as I could, grateful for my morning practice, knowing that moving my body would help relieve the vulnerability hangover I had.

I went from that to my meditation practice, feeling like I needed a big hug.

I went to the soundtrack I had created for others and was now using for myself. Grace was the name. It was the meditation soundtrack from earlier from a meditation space that I had been leading. 

Here is the music if you’re interested in listening.

Grace—I needed that grace to stop beating myself up for two events I’d put a lot of work into and desperately wanted to be a success.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard, “Remember”, and the scene from The Lion King showed up.

When Simba had run away and his dad appears to him in the sky, and I can’t remember exactly what he says, but basically tells him to go back and take his rightful place, and Simba does that, despite being scared.

I know, I smiled too. Guidance can be hilarious at times. But if we dismiss it, we also miss out on so much. So I listen, no matter how unexpected or funny it is 

“Remember why you’re doing this,” I hear again.

And the poem I’d written, whose words had shocked me earlier when I wrote it, because it was so fierce and so resolute—The poem is the heart of what I want to do.

I am here to liberate people.

I am here to empower people.

I am here to equip people with what they need to be wholeheartedly themselves.

That’s hard work, and that’s brave work, and that’s the most important work we can do: to be who we are.

I don’t believe we’re here to be like others. We are all unique, not one of us is the same. We all have something to bring to the world in whatever way that is.

And I’m here to help people do that—to see who they are, to own who they are, embrace who they are wholeheartedly, and then go to be who they are wherever that is: in their relationships and their professional lives, at home, how they live, and how they lead their lives.

Towards the end of the meditation, as my mind was wandering, I kept hearing, “Just Own You. Just Own You.” Over and over.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard that. I started to get that in January, and it comes up over and over—“Just Own You.”

That being the acronym that spells JOY: Just Own You.

I came out of the meditation feeling more grounded and more in alignment with myself.

I know why I’m here.

I’m not always 100%, or even 20%, comfortable with that, but I’m not leaving anything behind in this one precious life.

I’m here to help people become wholeheartedly themselves, love who they are, and bring their magic to the world.

To truly flourish.

I’m not going to back down.

And even as I write this, I smile again, as the song that’s been playing over and over in my head for the last week comes back: We’re not going to take it anymore. A rock song from my youth. 

I’m not going to play small.

I’m not going to back down. 

I want nothing more than for you to know your worth.

My greatest wish for you in this Holiday season is that you know who you are, why you are here, and that you live that out every day.

If you want help, I know a ‘girl’ who can help. Hit reply or book  20 min meeting here https://calendly.com/devillepartners/meeting-20-minute 

We can talk about what that could look like whether it be joining my online membership or with a couple of coaching sessions to start off 2026 strong.

Journaling Prompts

Consider journaling with one prompt per day for the next week and see what comes up

Take a few quiet moments to write. Let your answers be honest rather than perfect.

1. When have I recently felt a vulnerability hangover? What was I afraid of, and what did that fear reveal about what matters most to me? 
2. What practices help me ground myself when my courage feels shaky? 
3. Where in my life am I being stretched right now, and how can I remind myself that the stretch isn’t a sign to stop, but part of growing? 
4. What would it look like to offer myself grace instead of criticism? 
5. When I hear the words “remember who you are,” what comes to mind? 
6. Complete these sentences: 
   • I am here to… 
   • I want to… 
   • I am learning to… 
7. As I move into this new year, how can I Just Own Me more?