03 Mar Live! How to create a life that matters

Live.

Your life matters.

You matter.

What you want matters.

What you are here to bring to the world matters.

I will spend the rest of my life hammering this into people. This sounds a bit harsh, but as I was writing, that was the image that came to mind.  

Along the way, as you discover more of who you are and what matters to you, my wish for you is joy.

Not cheap, flighty, silver-spoon-in-your-mouth kind of joy, but the joy you feel when you’re living your best life. The kind that gives you the stamina you need for the bumps along the road and the bruises you obtain.

Those can’t be avoided.

Those matter too.

They create meaning in our lives. They make life rich. We need the dark in order to see the light.

In the next few weeks, I will say goodbye to my closest and dearest friend. This is devastating for me. And yet, what brings me some peace is that she really lived, and she really loved.

She is a bright light, spreading her love everywhere. She is pure goodness, and yet she’ll be gone soon, decades before anyone anticipates passing.

With my husband’s recent cancer diagnosis, and even my daughter being diagnosed with a brain tumour recently (it looks benign, and we are waiting on next steps).

 I want to shout~

LIVE!

Nothing is guaranteed. I don’t want to fear that something bad is going to happen. I don’t like the saying, “Life is short.” I do like the saying, “Life is precious,” and I use that lens to live by.

Nothing is guaranteed except death.

When life stacks like this, this clarity comes extra fast.

What keeps us from living?

Many things.

• Lack of awareness 
• Living on autopilot. 
• Thinking we have no choice in making the changes we seek or long for. 
• Passivity. “Isn’t this just the way it is?”

I’m not saying there aren’t limitations.

What I am saying is to use the resources you have to create a life that feels meaningful to you. Create a life that feels like it matters.

That can start with considering what you want.

Write 20 times over: I want, I want, I want — without editing, filtering, or judging. It can include sandwiches, coffee, and winning the lottery. Just start and see what happens.

Then write: What would bring me joy is… 10 times.

Go through these lists. Even if it’s microscopic calibrations, move toward the life you want.

Do it.

No more messing around.

Last week I was feeling irritated. Even irritated with myself for feeling irritated. I’m not normally like that.

I spent some time writing what I needed. You can try that question as well: I need… 10 times.

All of the needs boiled down to space.

It was a revelation.

Oh. I’m grouchy because I don’t have enough space to think, to feel, to explore, to plan, to work on projects. The list was long.

What do I feel when I have more space?

Joy.

Joy — the emotion that tethers us to our truth, to what matters, to what brings meaning.

Joy is our compass.

Joy is our North Star.

Joy is our anchor.

Joy is our rudder.

I had a little pushback of shame. The familiar flush of, “Oh, who do you think you are to want or need more space?” Like, I’m a spoiled or demanding child to want such decadence.

I know shame well and her wily ways to keep me small, suppressed, and frankly grumpy. Normally, I use all the tools to have her quiet down. This time, I was too pissed off, so I ignored her. I’m not sure this is the right coping skill, but so far, so good. People dying and crappy health diagnoses allow for less $hits to give. 

I chose to get into my calendar that day and book an extra hour of space to work on projects. Less earning potential for me-but I don’t care. This is my one life, and I want to love it on my terms, in a way that works for me. 

In the end, the best life is the one we create based on who we are and what matters most to us, so that we can bring ourselves to the world.

That’s the magic of Just Own You. Just as we are, what you want and need to flourish in this one precious life matters.

Nothing is guaranteed except death.

And may we all, when that day comes, arrive knowing we have lived fully, creating a life that feels rich and fulfilling; that feels meaningful to us.

This is what I explore in the first episode of Season Two of the rebranded podcast, Finding Joy, focusing on the science and stories that show us what it takes to live our best lives.

I will alternate between solo and guest podcasts, and my hope is that it helps listeners explore and integrate what it means to create the richest, most meaningful, and most marvellous life.

Give it a listen.

I’m also looking for guests who have been through challenges, twists in the road, bumps, hairpin turns, and would like to come on the podcast — those who have integrated meaning from madness and become better, not bitter, because of life’s hardships.

That’s how we find joy together.

Some of my beloved friend Ila’s amazing ways of giving back

Spread some love-send a love letter (click for a template)

Ila Edgar, in her book Love Bites, here explore emotion in a compelling way so we can experience the fullness of life

Her Trust on Purpose Podcast includes everything around trust with the world’s leading expert, Charles Feltman here

Give it a listen, anywhere you listen to our podcasts – Finding Joy