30 Sep What’s the Audience Screaming?

You know that moment in a movie when the character hears a noise outside and starts walking toward the door? The entire audience is screaming, “DON’T GO OUT THERE!” but the character, for some reason, goes outside in the DARK to see what’s going on.

 

I hate those moments-it seems so obvious that this is not the best move. 

 

That’s the movies, and it wouldn’t be as ‘exciting’, clearly, if they locked themself in a safe room for the next two hours and played solitaire. 

 

What if your life is a movie—and the audience is desperately trying to tell you to do something?

 

A couple of weekends ago, I participated in a Family Constellations workshop (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Constellations), and something profound emerged from every single person in the room. 

 

One by one, as we explored our deepest patterns, the same core need surfaced: to be seen.

 

Everyone—every single human being—needs to be seen, acknowledged, and loved for who we truly are. It’s as fundamental as breathing.

 

But what struck me was that most of the women in the room shared their stories: while they all desperately wanted to be seen, and to bring what they felt called to bring to the world, they simultaneously talked about playing small, prioritizing others over themselves, and sometimes making themselves invisible in the process.

 

We’ve mastered the superhero cloak—the “be good, do good, take care of others” cape that we wear so well that no one actually knows who we are underneath it. 

 

We’ve Become Invisible Superheroes

 

Oftentimes, we even forget. I know I have, and sometimes still lose touch with the real me.

 

We show up as the reliable one, the helper, the one who has it all together. We’re organizing everyone else’s lives, managing everyone else’s emotions, ensuring everyone else’s comfort. But behind that cape? We’re invisible.

 

As a recovering doormat myself (I guess I would have had a doormat embossed on my superhero cape ;)), I know this pattern intimately. For years, I defined my worth by how much I could do for others. But the cost was devastating: nobody actually knew me, and neither did I. 

 

Or when I did get brave enough, I looked to see what others were doing when it came to being successful as they led their businesses, so I tried to mimic their patterns. 

 

Again, being somewhat invisible, it became a false sense of safety. 

 

Here’s the cruel paradox we’ve created: We desperately want to be seen, but we hesitate to be ourselves and to fully show up. 

 

We want to bring our magic to the world, and when we do, we feel deep joy, but we often turtle again because of how vulnerable it feels to stand out. 

 

We crave connection, but we often only allow people to connect with our superhero persona, not our authentic selves, for fear that we may be rejected if someone truly sees us.  

 

When we are put together and when we are falling apart.

 

We’ve convinced ourselves that we are not enough, or too much, or who am I to be doing this? Sometimes we think being needed is the same as being seen. That being indispensable is the same as being valued. But it’s not.

 

The Movie of Your Life

 

Imagine if your life were a movie and you were watching yourself on screen. The audience isn’t eating popcorn quietly—they’re shouting at the screen:

 

“STOP PLAYING SMALL!”

 

“Tell them what you really think!” 

 

“For heaven’s sake-Launch that business already!”

“You’re so talented-CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?!”

 

“JUST DO IT!”

 

“Stop doing her work for her!” 

 

“Don’t take that role-you’ll suffocate yourself!”

 

“Say no to that request!” 

 

“Ask for what you actually want!”

 

I feel myself getting amped up as I write this about myself anf other people that are close to me. 

 

But just like the character who can’t hear the audience’s warnings, we keep walking toward the door. We keep saying yes when we mean no. We keep hiding our opinions behind “whatever you think is best” or saying nothing at all.

 

We choose safety over the bravery of stepping into the life we are meant for. 

 

The audience is screaming, but we can’t hear them over the sound of our own people-pleasing, perfecting and performing.

 

What if the solution to feeling vulnerable, exposed and unseen isn’t to do more or give more? What if it’s actually to show up—really show up—as who we are?

 

What if instead of waiting for someone to see through our superhero cloak magically, we took it off?

 

This isn’t about becoming selfish.  It’s about becoming real. 

 

It’s about letting people, the world, your team, your clients connect with the real you, not just the version that makes their lives easier.

 

Being seen requires tremendous courage because it means showing up with our imperfections, our needs, our boundaries, and our authentic opinions. 

 

What if you started to believe that when you take off your cloak the magic starts to happen? 

 

Taking off the cloak starts with small acts of visibility:

• Sharing your actual opinion instead of deferring
• Saying “that doesn’t work for me” instead of automatically accommodating
• Expressing a need instead of hoping someone will guess
• Setting a boundary instead of endlessly extending yourself

 

Once those courageous muscles start to build, you see other opportunities to appear and then, unlike in the horror film, you open the door-the ones that are meant for you. Yes, you still feel apprehensive, but there’s a taste of some goodness that compels you forward. 

 

You start to feel greater alignment and ease. You feel less stress and more bravery. You feel more true. Life feels meaningful, and you experience, you guessed it, more joy. The J.O.Y. of Just Owning You, where you get to be and do what you were put on this planet to do. I am cheering now!! 

 

Each time you choose visibility over invisibility, you’re choosing life, you’re choosing health, and you’re creating courage and that, according to science, is contagious. Imagine if you lived more courageously, allowing others to do the same? 

 

I am no longer a doormat (small miracle as I come from a long line of them) and I don’t wear a super hero cloak-unless I think it looks awesome with my current attire, but I do still stay quiet when I am uncertain of the outcome if I spoke up, I say yes to my kids when I wish I said no. Little places where I am still not entirely authentic. I am working on this everyday. 

 

I am entering a season where I am opening the door to new places. I am being more vocal about the work I am here to do. I am here to help people be their whole selves. 

 

I liberate people from who they think they need to be, get clear on who they are and what they are here, love themselves as they are–nothing is broken in anyone or needs to be fixed, and have the courage to fully express themselves in whatever that is for that person. 

 

There’s grace for us all as we become who we are meant to be. This is not about overturning the tables of our lives or burning our undergarments (although I do love a good fire :))t. It’s about being aware of where we are holding ourselves back and making the minor tweaks where we feel brave enough to. 

 

 And now~

 

The audience is screaming. 

 

Now they’re cheering for you as you show up, speak up, to stop hiding.

 

Can you hear them?

 

What’s one thing they’re screaming at you to do? 

 

Will you do that one wildly courageous thing? 

 

This Week’s Reflection Questions:

 

Where are you hiding? 

What parts of yourself do you hold back on?

If someone were watching a movie of your life, where would they be screaming for you to speak up, show up or do?

Where would they demand you stop overextending yourself?

 

Take some time with these. Your answers might reveal where the audience is desperately trying to get your attention.

 

I’d love to hear where your audience is screaming the loudest. Hit reply and share—your visibility matters.