28 Apr Watch Your Language

It sounds like something a mom says to a child trying out their first F bomb. 😉

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Our language is what binds you tight—or sets you free.

Focus on the words that align with your truth and what you want to be bound to. Otherwise, you may be blinded by words that hold you tight without even realizing it.

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The words you tell yourself have a significant impact.

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Our brains are infinitely brilliant, but when our inner voice says something like, “I just can’t catch a break,” the brain takes it in as truth—just like someone else saying it to you: Leona, you just can’t catch a break.

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If someone actually said that to me and I was paying attention, I might stop and say, That’s not true. But because 90% of our reactions are unconscious, and our brains are constantly looking to reinforce our negativity bias, we often just absorb it.
It slides into the grooves already worn by challenging moments, strengthens limiting beliefs, and the brain quietly says, You’re right.

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In return, we get a little hit of dopamine—reinforcing the information as truth.

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Our brains are constantly scanning for information that supports what we already believe. Brains love patterns. They respond by creating neural pathways—wiring that becomes the lens through which we view our lives.

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The brain is not a truth-seeking missile.
It’s a satiety-seeking organ.

Like a hungry child, it craves what feels familiar. When something comes along that fits what’s already there, it gobbles it up and responds with a satisfied, Yum—whether or not it’s true. It feels good, and we get another little hit of dopamine, reinforcing the existing pathway.

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Brains are especially ‘hungry’ in places where we feel unsafe.
Their primary function is to keep us safe, and they lean heavily toward the negative. Negative experiences grip the brain five times more tightly than positive ones.

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For that reason alone, we need to be very mindful of what we feed it.

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When I think, Dang, I can’t catch a break, my brain instantly gets to work.

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It’s like an old-fashioned switchboard operator—plugging that message into every place it fits, lighting up all the old stories that confirm it’s true.
And the brain delights in it: Yes, true! Dopamine hit.

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And with that, the story is soldered into place even more firmly.

Our brains then seek even more evidence to prove it.

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Remember when that bad thing happened? Remember when someone hurt you? See? You can’t catch a break.

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The first step is awareness.

When we notice these moments, we can override the brain’s natural tendencies and get back into the driver’s seat.

It’s okay to feel, Dang, I can’t catch a break.​
That’s a very normal, human reaction when life feels hard.

But before your internal switchboard gets too involved, pause and ask:
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Is that the truth?

I do this often. I catch the thought and question it: Is that true?​
I also give myself a little love: This feels true right now. And that’s hard.

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Feelings give us important information.
Compassion softens the moment and invites our executive functioning brain—the strategic, wise part of us—to join the conversation.

Even if self-compassion feels too far away, you can still gently vet the thought:
​“I can’t catch a break.”​

Is it true?

Well…
I have a job.
I have a home.
I’m wearing clothes.
I’m eating a sandwich.
I have people who love me.

The list could be very long.
And it shows me that, indeed, I have many “breaks” in life.

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Outside of this stressful moment, there are so many good, satisfying, even delightful things.

This rebalancing gives my brain a dopamine hit too—reinforcing resilience instead of defeat. It’s like gently soldering a new, healthier groove into place.

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I can also reframe the message:
​This is hard. I feel like I can’t catch a break right now. And yet I know that’s not true of every part of my life.

To reinforce that resilient wiring, I might also say:
​“This situation feels really hard, but I know I’ll get through it.”

It requires some awareness, yes.

By watching our words, we bolster our resilience and create an internal alliance that makes us more skillful in handling stress, heartbreak, and all the hurdles life places in our path.

And that’s work worth investing in.

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I’d love to hear if you have caught yourself saying something that isn’t all that helpful, and how you have started to ‘watch your language’ 🙂

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Lots of love,

​Leona