25 Feb Me first, me first. Me first.

Me first, me first. Me first.

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Me first.

That’s how I live my life.

Does that make you gulp?

It makes part of me feel shocked. ‘What me first?’ You can’t say that…others first, or at least equal to you.

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2 journals~pre walk and post-walk

I think as I get up every day at 4:10. Me first. People ask, why on earth would I get up so early? Because I matter more than anything else in my life. I matter most. Without me mattering, I pour from a half cup into others’ lives, and I’ll run out.

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Running out shows up as exhaustion and, eventually, burnout.

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I’ve burnt out twice. I am not going there again. I am still recovering from the last time.

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Right now, without me first, I don’t love my work like I usually do. I am not present. I’m less curious. I’m less creative. I lose touch with what I need and want and love.